1 year ago I was deemed a "crazy" mom.
Since then I have tried, I mean REALLY tried, to reign in the crazy. I am reflecting on what this has gotten me.
The answer: nothing!
Maybe called crazy less often. It does still happen on occasion. I don't think you can be a mom and NEVER be "crazy".
In my search for less crazy, I have tried to stop yelling and asking questions and expressing opinions. God knows I have an abundance of those. The general rule is "just keep your big mouth shut, Chris."
I try to tell myself , 'not your circus, not your monkeys', except it is my circus and they are my monkeys, they are just monkeys that I no longer have any control over.
They are my monkeys who live in my house but don't pay any attention to anything I say.
Day 1: "we're out of towels, please bring them down."
Day 2: nothing
Day 3: nothing
Day 4: Dad - where are all the fucking towels?? Dirty towels magically appear.
Day 1: "I need all your stuff in the corner taken to your room by 4pm on (this date)."
Day 4: specified date, morning. "don't forget, I need all your stuff taken up by 4pm today."
Reply: mom, it's just pillows. (no, it isn't just pillows. it's a whole tote of crap- that's my thought not spoken words)
Day 30: shit's still there.
Day 1: monkey cleans out car & throws all trash on ground.
Day 3: "please pick up your trash"
Day 7: "please pick up your trash"
Day 14: "please pick up your trash"
Day 21: "you still haven't picked up your trash from cleaning out your car"
Day 30+: trash is still there. I am NOT PICKING IT UP!
There isn't a mess they make, a plate or a cup or a bowl or a wrapper or an article of clothing that they leave laying around that I ask them to pick up, I just do it. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why??? B/c they wouldn't do it anyway and if I ask repeatedly and it doesn't get done it pisses me off and it makes me want to flip the fuck out on them - but this is crazy, so I just freaking do it myself with my mouth shut and my head full of lovely words.
There was a time that none of this would have happened. I would have lost my shit on day 2 and they would have jumped up and did what the hell I'd told them to do in the first place. Then we would be done until the next time. (yanno, b/c none of my children have ever once in their lives listened to me the first time I said something)
There was a time that I tolerated no back talking, no sassing, no yelling at me, no being rude in general, and no lying to me. Now, all these things run rampant. There is NO respect and the lies are out-of-control. I just bite my tongue and walk away. Because anything else would be CRAZY.
No. You want to know what's CRAZY??
Putting up with this SHIT from my old-enough-to-know-better monkeys!
But, what can I do about it beside go back to crazy? Nothing!!!
The result of my 1 year experiment: my hypothesis was incorrect. I may as well go back to crazy. I may not have been respected then but at least I was feared. Now I am not respected and not feared.
